Haus der Luege : Noli Evocare Quod Reprimere Non Potes

Word has come down from Management the AOBI that former U.S. V.P. Dick Cheney will have the hours stolen from Millions of Americans by means of the so-called "Daylight Savings" tacked on to his life span.

The good news is that he'll develop a non-terminal, but completely untreatable bowel disorder, causing him to live those hours out in unimaginable agony in the restroom of a gas station in North Dakota.